Feb 14 = Valentines Day...

I am sitting here in my little one room cabin at almost 8:30 at night on Valentines waiting for my husband to return with our late night Valentines meal. It is supposed to be a surprise but I'm thinking maybe Chinese? Maybe Pizza? I dunno. He will probably laugh at me later when he reads this because I am probably way off. As I am sitting here waiting for my Valentine to return to me so we can enjoy what is left of this mushy holiday (Although I must admit Valentines IS one of my favorite holidays)(AND despite the fact that I still have a math test and some other time consuming homework lingering over my head that is due by midnight) I am plagued by thoughts of how much I do not deserve this wonderful man that God has blessed me with. I have been so irritable this past week or so and have said hurtful things and have acted in non lady-like ways. As I strive to be that Proverbs 31 women I continually fall flat on my face every single day. I am continuing to pray that God will mold me and help me become the kind of women I am supposed to be and to be the kind of encouraging, loving, supportive and even fun wifey that I need to be to my hubby. I'm deff. not perfect and I have a long way to go but as my amazing forgiving husband tells me, "You have only lived 20 years and you have the next 60 to become to person you want to be."

LIFE... What a roller coaster

Lately I have been going through a lot of decisions about what needs to happen in my life over the next 6 months or so. I have a few options. I could continue to work here at camp and be the "ranch girl" as my husband loves to call me, where it would initially be the easiest thing for me to do because #1, I have the job if I want it. That means no monstrous butterflies (that feel more like a teradactyl trying to beat its way out of my stomach!) over such things like interviews. #2 If I stay I don't have to learn anything new that would cause me to lose sleep over and walk into work the next day with sweaty hands hoping I remember how to work the cash register or hoping that I don't give someone the wrong change. And #3 ... Well I won't continue to list all of the facts that would make it easier to just stay at camp. My next option for the summer would be to apply for an internship and get a job that will last me through my last semester of college and then past graduation. My second option looks best in the long run but dern that first option makes things a lot easier... even if it is just for the summer. But who knows what God wants me to do? Not me. STAY AT CAMP? DO INTERNSHIP? STAY AT CAMP? DO INTERNSHIP? Maybe I'll just go outside and find a flower and start picking petals off hoping that the last one will tell me what my future holds for me.
Over this past week I feel that God has slowly been working on my heart reminding me to just let things go. That I need to remain faithful to him in my prayer life and in getting to know him and in that things will be revealed to me and that he will lead me in the direction he has planned for me. There is no need to worry over this (although I'm sure that in my human state I will catch myself doing just that from time to time.) I have been reading Psalm for a week or so now and the other day I was reading from Psalm 40 and the very first verse says, "I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry." I found that to be so encouraging because here David is going through so many trials and as he continues to cry out to God in his trouble I get feeling that maybe David felt as if God was being silent and keeping himself hidden from David. But David remained patiently faithful to God and God heard his cry and lifted David out of his pit of despair. Now I'm not saying that I'm in a pit of despair but I am saying that there are times when I feel like God is being silent and through all of my crying out and is keeping himself hidden from me. But I am remaining faithful and I know that God will take me to wherever it is that he has for me. God never leaves, we just have to remember to be faithful in those times where we don't feel him.
I know God is leading me to right where he wants me to be. Just remain faithful my friends...

Vanilla Lattes and random Macintosh Labs

Helloooo Blog World. I'm sorry to say that it has been just over a month since my last blog update. I apologize to all of my followers (Total of 6). I hope that you are not too heart broken and will forgive me. In the past month I have started my senior year of college (watch as the panic takes over!!!) and gotten into the best schedule I have ever had in all of my semesters as a college student but also one of the worst homework loads of my life.
Today's blog is dedicated to Christina Hadley. I'm sure you have heard her name as it has been a reoccurring topic in the few blogs that I have. I have not seen her lovely face in quite some time due to some very harsh winter weather. Also due to the harsh winter weather equals the lack of of good coffee in my life recently. Since my beautiful best friend knows the desire I have for coffee and the addiction that comes in the form of smooth coffee, frothy milk, and sweet whipped cream she sent me on somewhat of a wild goose chase, or shall we say caffeine chase this afternoon after my class. I looked somewhat of an idiot bending down low and searching with wide eyes like an addict looking for their drug when all of a sudden it caught my eye. A beautiful little brown disposable cup just sitting there full of java waiting for me to drink from it. Ohhh how that Christina Hadley knows the way to my heart.